Pinned toot

Hello, I think this is working now.
Welcome to my Master Dong.

RT @CartaMonir
Advertising guy: "guys nobody is buying our acetate sheets anymore what can we do????"
Me, high out of my mind: "fellas... I just had the idea that's going to save our company."

RT @neokefka_99
CALL OF DUTY? How 'bout you go and get shot at and die for real, you damn pussies!

Christ, these were the most disgusting instant noodles I've tasted in my entire life. It LOOKED like teriyaki sauce, but tasted NOTHING like it. No salt, no sweetness, no savoriness. Instead it tasted watery with a slightly bitter note and a hint of generic vegetable flavor.

RT @garblefart
pandemic denialism makes perfect sense when you realise that pandemics are the antithesis of the conservative individualistic worldview

the idea that everyone is only as well off as the weakest link instills a primal fear so painful that the only option is denial

Bonus: When we first got dictionaries, she made us look up questionable words (for second graders) like "masturbation"

She also hammered it into our heads that what happens at school stays there and to never tell our parents.
Well, an investigation was finally launched because of my mom's insistence and the teacher killed herself the same summer.
Good fucking riddance.

My first and second grade elementary school teacher would get physical with her students (hitting, ear pulling to the point of torn skin, etc.) and then stand you in front of the class and tell the other students to laugh at you. Traumatized me (and probably others) for life.
RT @sleepyiinc
raise your hand if a teacher has ever embarrassed/shamed you in front of the class or a bunch of people
tryna prove a point.

RT @MNateShyamalan
wow, you make your money on only fans? i could do that too, if i were hot, stayed in shape, ate well, were confident, had business and marketing sense, knew how to self motivate without the imposed schedule and goals of an office job, had ever taken a single good photo of myse

RT @MarloMeekins
Satan why do u have pitchfork? Lotta hay in hell is there? Ok idiot

RT @Addison_Peacock
people saying "Halloween is canceled" because you can't go to parties??? If you were really in it for the love of the game you'd be sitting alone in your apartment wearing fake fangs, fistfull of pumpkin guts snorting a line of candy corn like a REAL FAN OF HALLOWEEN

I don't think I've ever made a chili as good as the one I cooked up today. Holy shit, it's amazing.

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